FINAL WAR ARCHIVES

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just another normal log about mnot me. someone who isn't me, because the things here aren't normal, but i'm normal, really normal. just random footage from a council camera drone in space. it's fine. i'm normal.

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CAM-DRN-234: [[footage shows an asteroid belt with a purple nebula in the distance, the drone itself is damaged, flying in random ways and not sending it's footage live like it's meand to. the very not-normal blonde guy from the previous log who isn't me frantically jumps to one of the asteroids and starts fiddling with a vibrating blue cube, a dot of white energy begins to appear]]

some not-normal guy: c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon just-

???: [[the weird bald guy just walks through space to get to the same rock as the not-me guy]] hold it right there smelly dumb dumb bozo head smell head no [[word i can't hear]] stinky stinky mr [[another word i can't hear]] you gotta stop right there and get killed killed by me killed to death oh yeah gimmie white text yeah white like you whiteboy and call me scourge

scourge: youre never gonna know why that name means somethin cuz guess what you die here today in the past i followed you hardline realtime past present future relative all that stuff i got it locked it in i know what you are you karak liker you're gonna got dang get it soon enough your heads going in a black hole and rest of you to the andromeda you-

some not-normal guy: wait no no hold on. dial it back, [[i- he. this guy turns around and leaves the cube floating near the dot, he's also holding a thin cardboard box]] what do you mean relative?

scourge: time is relative you bozo shouldnt the timelivers know that huh livers isnt even a word you spell it like an organ you-

some not-normal guy: what in the voi- time isn't relative!!! are you stupid? the past is before the present-

scourge: and the present is whatever you think it is at the moment you p-

CAM-DRN-234: [[the cube is slowly moving towards the white dot while they talk and the blonde guy is super correct about everything]]

some not-normal guy: no! shut up! the present is an actual point in time we can track, it's movements are synced to certain planets like earth so we use those date and time systems to measure things. before the present is the past which cannot be changed or bad stuff goes down, after the present is the future which only forms when a time traveller goes to it and it bases itself off the present and the past but it's always changing. you're an idiot if you think it's relative how would that even work?

scourge: alright idiot heres how it works you bozo stupid dumby moron rock head dumb nut smell head [[just a lot of words i can't hear]] you hit the run around on the fourth dimension and-

some not-normal guy: BWAAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! YOU THINK THERE'S A FOURTH DIMENSION??? BY THE STARS HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE IF YOU'RE TIME TRAVELLING LIKE THIS? oh void are you okay? are you alrigh-

scourge: slur [[he starts to move towards m- the guy. the random guy.

CAM-DRN-234: [[the cube fully enters the dot, and it all morphs in a bright flash into a door]]

some not-normal guy: OKAY FINALLY!!! [[he rushes into the door, the drone managing to follow behind him with a random movement, last thing it hears from scourge is just him yelling slur over and over]]

CAM-DRN-234: [[footage is static for a moment but when it clears, the drone is in some kind of garden. the not-normal guy just kind of stands around for a moment, the garden is extremely well kept, with neat paths and streams and beautiful flowers. there's a red and green figure hunched over in the distance just gardening with paper figures near him. the nor-normal... alright yeah it's me i'll make this easier to write by still doing third person, he just kind of stands there for a bit]]

garalin-malkatros: uh... hello? pizza delivery for uh... [[he checks a note in his pocket and a tall figure in a black suit enters the frame, his body is a pattern of pink an black squares like a broken texture in a game engine, it moves around as he walks closer to garalin and looks at him. his legs are digitigrade and he has a fuzzy tail that ends in a star-like pattern. he also has a staff in the shape of a question mark and a black tophat with 'hat of mystery' written on it, he taps on garalin's shoulder]]

garalin-malkatros: AH- [[he jumps in shock and almost drops the pizza]] oh uh, hi

SCREEPLE-MURPLE: greetings good sir! it's very uncommon for a visitor to these lands, what buisiness brings you here my friend?

garalin-malkatros: uh, well, i'm garalin malkatros and i'm here to-

SCREEPLE-MURPLE: my goodness! the one with the funny blog and the archive?! [[he shouts over into the distance]] MY LOVE! COME OVER HERE! IT'S THE FUNNY MAN!

garalin-malkatros: i-

CAM-DRN-234: [[a blue orb of enrgy with a white centre floats in, light blue energy pouring upwards from it like smoke. three pieces of white metallic plastic appear and lock onto it like a crest with a large one in the middle pointed upward with two pointing diagonally upward next to it, a small disc attaches at the bottom. two more pieces of plastic float in the air with smaller orbs of energy attached to them, as a massive glass orb floats in and they lock onto it's sides. the glass orb flashes blue then looks like it's made of space, with stars and blue nebulas floating through it. two massive hands of blue metal burst from the ground, floating in place at the sides of the large orb. another large plastic piece attaches to the bottom of the space orb and forms two more balls of energy, as tll white spikes float into place, all floating together to form the shape of some kind of entity]]

THE NEO SOURCE: GREETINGS. [[his voice is warped and echoy, like space itself talking to you]] THE NEO SOURCE IS HERE.

SCREEPLE-MURPLE: look my love! it's the funny archive man!

THE NEO SOURCE: VERY ULTRA-PILLED. THE NEO SOURCE BELIEVES ALL PATHETIC AND WET LIFEFORMS ON THE SIDE OF GOOD ARE VERY BASED. WHAT IS YOUR BUISNESS HERE WET MAN.

garalin-malkatros: uh. yeah. i'm here to deliver a pizza... to you. the neo source. hi. [[he quickly hands the pizza over

THE NEO SOURCE: EXCELLENT. [[he takes the box and opens it, grabbing a slice and just kind of pressing it into his head orb where it just vaporises on contact]] CHEESE IS A POWERFUL SUBSTANCE AND PROOF OF THE INDOMITABLE SPIRIT OF GOOD THAT ALL LIFE-

SCREEPLE-MURPLE: you're about to go on a rant again my love [[he also takes a slice]]

garalin-malkatros: well uh... i'll get going then i guess, had to fight a guy called the scourge to-

THE NEO SOURCE: THE SCOURGE!!! A NAME GIVEN TO AN ULTIMATE FOE OF THE NEOS. THOSE THAT USE MY POWER KNOWINGLY OR NOT TO FACE EVIL IN ALL IT'S FORMS. THE SCOURGE IS NOR BASED. OR ULTRA-PILLED. OR COOL. OR AWESOME. THE NEOS IS ALL OF THOSE AND MORE. THE NEO SOURCE THANKS YOU WET MAN. AND WISHES YOU LUCH AGAINST FUTURE CHALLENGES THAT EXISTENCE WILL SEND AGANST YOU.

garalin-malkatros: uh... sure dude [[he does a thumbs up as he presses a button on his belt that opens a portal back to his office.]]

CAM-DRN-234: [[the drone does one last movement, rocketing itself at garalin and knocking them both through the portal. and breaking itself as it smashes on the floor.]]

[[COMMUNICATION ENDED]]