another log from that guy with the really long name's ship, this time it's a video log


CMND-50-JOHN: status report! have we found the source of those hull breaches? [[he's wearing the same outfit as at the end of that castle log, although now the camera is much closer to him so we can get a better... look... anyway the control room is overly ornate with gold and fake crystal skulls littered around, there's various consoles which have... oh stars those are touch screens... being operated by people in the usual helmets of the empire but wearing red monk-like robes, many of them are of different heights but most of them are a humanoid shape. aside from the nearest one who despite the robes is clearly some kind of people-sized t-rex]]

COMS-1234-JAHN: [[the nearest one pipes up]] um, still nothing sir, but there is something peculier, yyyeeesss, peculier up ahead sir, it should come into view... now! [[from the windows of the deck, an asteroid floats into view with glowing blue graffiti on it, reading: 'john lastname has no ass and smells like five nights at freddys 2 mask']]

CMND-50-JOHN: I- WHO- YOU- I- WH- WHO DID THIS!? I WANT THEM DEAD!!! I HAVE ASS. I HAVE A DUMPY. [[from the footage he seems to be... somewhat correct... i'm getting off topic]]

COMS-1234-JAHN: well um... there's more sir, you see- [[another rock comes into view, this time with a crude messy drawing of a charicature of john with a large tear drop and text reading 'no ass bottom text' despite all the text being above the drawing]] -there's that one as well

CMND-50-JOHN: [[he's utterly speechless, saying nothing as someone walks over and puts an arm over john's shoulder]]

neos-cosmic: who could use such good art to say such a cruel thing!? [[the figure is humanoid and average-to-tall height. his head is covered by a white-plastic looking helmet with a big glowing blue lens in the middle of it, the edges of it flexing like facial expressions, right now giving the impression of having one eyebrow raised and the other lowered. the neck and most of the body is covered by what looks like a spandex white suit, with plastic blue boots that go up to the knees with glowing white dots on them like stars. the gauntlets follow the same design but are fingerless at the end. the groin is covered by what looks like blue trunks over the spandex suit like a classic earth comic book hero, and the torso is the strangest part. like a plastic piece of armour that covers as much as a crop-top, but it's a deep black with the stars shifting as he moves and blue nebulas forming in and out across it]] i mean whoever did it was clearly pretty based and maybe even ultra-pilled

COMS-1234-JAHN: INTRUDER!!! [[the robed workers all run around in circles and scream

neos-cosmic: oh the hull breaches didn't tip you off? [[the lights in the room turn red as alarms start going off]] dang your systems suck, anyway go tell your emperor that he smells bad and he's gonna have to block this overhead [[he does a flip and kicks john in the head, knocking him to the floor as he runs out of the room. there's a lot of laser fire heard followed by an explosion and a blue light like a small comet flies past the front of the ship, leaving behind more writing on a last asteroid saying 'PS: MY DAD SAYS YOU'RE NOT BASED OR ULTRA-PILLED']]

CMND-50-JOHN: NEOS COSMIIIIIIIIIIC!!!! [[he screams out as he gets up and the alarms blare around him on the ship]]