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so i don't actually know why this is here. the energy signature on it says it's from another universe, 2005 specifically, and the director agrees... but says i have to anyway "for the booboo bears" which i assume means you all? i think? i should start drinking alcohal. anyway here's an audio log
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PHONE-1:
PHONE-1: hey boss! so uh... i have some good news and some bad news [[audio sounds a big compressed, very much an old pre-contact era earth phone]]
PHONE-2: oh really? because unless it has anything to do with project ultra, i don't really have time to give much of a shit honestly
PHONE-1: well good news first then! we found who has the device! but there is some... bad news about who has it
PHONE-2: oh god damn... it's her isn't it. she got the f-
PHONE-1: actually it's not! it's someone completely random actually!
PHONE-2: okay... that's immediatly better than the pyramid scheme lady. what data did it get?
PHONE-1: well he's um... he has blue hair, no family, some pronouns, bit unhealthy he needs to get out more according to the last bio-scan and um...
PHONE-2: and?
PHONE-1: ...he's 14 years old
PHONE-2: ...
PHONE-1: ...sir?
PHONE-2: we're fucked.
[[COMMUNI
this universe is BASED and ULTRA-PILLED